Note: This is an editorial and thus expresses the writer's personal opinions. If you disagree, why not write your own editorial?
In today's musical world many bands have become famous despite having no musical skill or taste. They are in a word, overrated. It is time to give these musical cancers the recognition they deserve. It is time to rank the top ten most overrated bands of all time. The following list was compiled through deep investigative reporting and a poll of top music insiders. Ranked by a standardized point scale, these ten bands were chosen by the amount they were "overrated" in four areas:
overrated albums or singles, overrated concerts, overrated hysteria, and
plain out overrated musical skill.
It has been also been determined that approximately 95.5% of the fan base of these overrated bands possess one or more of the following: 1)an IQ under 50. 2)addiction to alcohol or drug-related substances. 3)A subscription to Oprah's Magazine 4)an emotional need to feel accepted and 5)no life.
Without further ado, lets begin the list of the top ten most overrated bands of all time:
10)Limp Bizkit. I wish that this band would keep "rollin'" into some deep, inescapable
abyss. Hearing their music makes all of body limp. If I had it "My Way," I would take Fred Durst's red hat turn it sideways and stick it straight up his chocolate starfish ass.
9)Hootie and the Blowfish. Need I say more?
8)Pink Floyd. Perhaps the only legitimate band in the list, their reason for being placed
here is strictly because of the "overrated" quality of the list. Pink Floyd is a good band,
but not a great band. Devoting thirty minutes on a classic rock radio station to their
music not only shrinks the intelligence of the listening audience but also misleads them
into believing that Pink Floyd actually has three good songs. Maybe some education would
have helped their song writing.
7)Nirvana. "Smells like something crappy." I would like to take their "heart-shaped box"
and flush it down my "oval-shaped hole" in my restroom. Lucky for Nirvana, their "lead
singer," and I use that term loosely, died; otherwise, they would have produced a decade
of pathetic music like number one on this list. To further promote my point, Nirvana's
drummer is the lead singer of Foo Fighters. Ouch, that one hurt to say.
6)AC(Lightning Bolt)DC. I believe all of the musical experts on my panel picked AC/DC for
the same reason. Suppose you are driving in your car and the radio plays a song.
Immediately, you recognize the song as an AC/DC hymn. Why is that? Because every one of
their songs is exactly the same. To quote Led Zeppelin, "The Song Remains the Same" over and
over and over again for AC(Lightning Bolt) DC. AC/DC needs to change their songs, and
change their clothes(note to lead guitarist).
5)Metallica. Metallica fans are losers. Have you ever seen one w/out a black shirt on and a semblance of a tan? Do they ever leave their parents basement?
4)Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Now I can understand trying to sound like other famous
and successful musicians, but why would Tom Petty want to sound exactly like Bob Dylan?
This band's problem: they don't write like Bob Dylan. You guys be the boy, "in the
courduroy pants", and I'll be the girl, running like a "bat out of hell" away from you.
3)The Dave Matthews Band. I have one question to the loyal fans of this group: "Can't find
a better band?" Obviously, fans of "DMB" live secluded lives and fit all of the criteria
listed above. Wanna see what I am talking about? Go to a DMB concert. A better name for
this group would be, The Dave Matthews Wish We Were Good Enough To Be Called a BAND But Our
Songs Drone On For Way Too Long And Our Lead Singer's Voice Sounds Like He Swallowed A
Squeaky Toy And Got It Stuck In His Windpipe.
2)Aerosmith. The only good thing to ever come from this band was Liv Tyler. One of many
bad things to come from this band: "Jaded." Need I say more? The world has only one
solution. First, gather all of Aerosmith's albums. Next, hire a blacksmith to make some
type of safe. Third, hire a locksmith to make an impenetrable lock for the safe. Finally,
place all of the "albums" into the safe, lock it up, and throw it into the same deep, dark
abyss as Limp Bizkit.
1)Pearl Jam. First of all, the band's name is a blatant rip-off of the arcade game
"NBA Jam." Second, the initials of the band's name is PJ. Mess up there guys? Third,
it doesn't help a band when their fans cannot understand one word in their songs. And
fourth, this band cannot be very good if I do not know one of their songs. And that is
saying something, because Pearl Jam is the most overplayed, overloved, and overrated band in the
history of music.
Note from rootnode: He's nutty.